


Don't Ever Change

by angelofthequeers



Series: Oneshots [38]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel, Crying During Sex, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dean Has Issues, Dean Has Realizations, Demisexual Castiel (Supernatural), Emotional Sex, Episode: s05e04 The End, Fluff, I mean that's literally his character, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Not Endverse, Really does anyone expect me to write anything else at this point, Romance, Rough Sex, Sassy Castiel, Sassy Dean, Smut, Top Dean, Virgin Castiel, You'll know I'm an imposter if there's no sappy cuddles, Zachariah is a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 18:54:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12710910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelofthequeers/pseuds/angelofthequeers
Summary: When Dean returns from 2014 Endverse, he realises that he just might be crushing on Cas. One timely rescue and an utter lack of brain-to-mouth filter later and...I'm not gonna lie, they have sappy sex and then Dean ends up talking about his feelings.What else are you expecting from me?





	Don't Ever Change

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own SPN.
> 
> I had this lying around from February and I think it was supposed to be a full-length fic but I can’t for the life of me remember what the plot was supposed to be. So, rather than leave it lying around, I decided to finish it off. I really should be working on my NaNo word count but eh. I still haven’t recovered from literally every episode of S13.
> 
> As if I need more Destiel in my life.

 

“See you in five years, Dean.”

Sam-who-wasn’t-really-Sam-but-Lucifer smiled at Dean. It wasn’t a nice smile, or really any smile that Dean was accustomed to seeing on his brother’s face; it was a smile of pitying condescension. Dean hadn’t known that look was possible, but Lucifer pulled it off like he’d been born to give that precise smile. Before Dean could say anything, lightning flashed and thunder crashed and Lucifer was gone. But he didn’t get much of a respite after that encounter because when he turned around, Zachariah was there.

 _Fuck me_ , was all he had time to think before Zachariah tapped two fingers to his forehead and his apocalyptic surroundings vanished. A second later, he was back in his crummy motel room, sprawled against the kitchenette sink while Zachariah stood in front of him with a smug little smile. Oh, Dean hated that smile. He’d have loved to punch it right off the dick angel’s fat little face, even if he got smote for it. But with him and Sam taking an extended vacation from each other, that would’ve left Cas with no one, and Dean had kind of grown fond of the dorky little angel. Especially after his failed attempt at getting laid, which had not ended particularly well. And while he laughed his head off for the first time in years, Dean had come to the terrifying conclusion that he –

“Oh, well, if it isn’t the ghost of Christmas screw you,” he drawled to cut off the dangerous direction his mind was taking. Zachariah sighed.

“Enough, Dean. Enough. You saw it, right? You saw what happens. You’re the only person who can prove the Devil wrong. Just say yes.”

_“I know you won’t say yes to Michael either. And I know you won’t kill Sam. Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up…here.”_

Dean mentally shook himself and gave Samifer an imaginary middle finger, wishing that this whole 2014 joyride hadn’t had such a profound effect on him. But between seeing himself as a grade-A douche who had sacrificed all of the people relying on him – he knew he was a dick, but he’d _never_ stoop that low – and seeing Cas as a drug-fucked human hooked on orgies and Sam as Lucifer’s condom, his mind was going a million miles an hour and shit was hitting the proverbial fan. But no way was he going to give Zachariah the satisfaction.

“How do I know this whole thing isn’t one of your tricks?” he demanded. “Huh? Some angel hocus pocus?”

There was still the chance that Zachariah had fabricated the whole thing. But Dean had seen first-hand what happens when you try to change fate – Azazel had still paid them a little visit, despite Dean’s best efforts – and if that really had been the future, he wasn’t sure what he could do to avoid it. Besides saying yes to Michael, of course. Which he wouldn’t do purely on principle.

“The time for tricks is over.” Zachariah neatly dodged the question. “Give yourself to Michael. Say yes and we can strike. Before Lucifer gets to Sam. Before billions die.”

Dean turned away so that Zachariah couldn’t see how freaking close he was to saying yes after that asshole-Dean, stoner-Cas, Lucifer-Sam whirlwind. This was probably the hardest thing he’d ever had to consider. If he said yes, he’d kill millions of people with Michael’s power, not that Michael seemed to have any fucks to give. But if he said no, he could possibly be condemning the world to an apocalyptic hellhole and end up killing _billions_.

_“It means that your choices have consequences. This is what happens to the world if you continue to say no to Michael.”_

_“Say yes to Michael. Look around you, man. Half the planet’s better than no planet, which is what we have now. If I could do it over again, I’d say yes in a heartbeat.”_

But then Dean thought of Cas, and how the fallen angel had given up everything for him. He’d thrown away his home, his powers, his family…all for Dean. All for a messed-up guy he’d only known for just over a year. And now he was stuck on this shitty planet, trying to find a father who obviously had as few fucks to give as Michael, and if Dean said yes then he’d be throwing that sacrifice back in Cas’ face. He couldn’t do that to Cas.

“Nah,” he finally said. He didn’t turn back around but he could practically feel Zachariah’s fury.

“‘Nah’? You’re telling me you haven’t learned your lesson?” Zachariah hissed.

“Oh, I’ve learned a lesson, all right.” Dean frantically prayed to Cas because if Cas didn’t get him out of here pronto, he was fucked. “Just not the one you wanted to teach.”

“Well, I’ll just have to teach it again!” Zachariah nearly shrieked. “Because I got you now, boy, and I’m never letting you –”

The next moment, Dean was standing on the side of a road with no more annoying Zachariah deafening him with his self-righteous crap. When Dean turned and saw Cas, he could’ve sworn that that his heart soared and his insides lightened. He was coming to associate Cas with safety and friendship, and he was so relieved to see the old, head-tilted-squinty-eyes Cas instead of the stoned, broken 2014 Cas that he could’ve cried. That is, if he wasn’t allergic to human emotions.

“Pretty nice timing, Cas,” he said with a grin. Cas favoured him with a rare smile and Dean swore to god that he seized up and flew away right then and there.

“We had an appointment,” Cas said.

_“What, are you stoned?”_

_“Uh, generally, yeah.”_

_“What happened to you?”_

_“Life.”_

_“What? I like past you.”_

_“Okay, if you don’t like, uh, ‘reckless’, I could use ‘insouciant’, maybe.”_

_“Are you coming?”_

_“Of course.”_

_“I mean, Dean, I’m all but useless.”_

_“I’m hapless. I’m hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence, right? It’s the end, baby. That’s what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out?”_

“Dean?”

 _His_ Cas’ voice broke through the 2014 Cas that was swimming before Dean’s eyes. Before Dean knew what he was doing, he was seizing Cas and pulling him into a tight hug, resting his chin on Cas’ shoulder.

“Dean…why are you squeezing me with your body?” Cas said slowly. Dean rolled his eyes, still grinning.

“‘S called a hug, Cas. You’re s’posed to hug back.”

Cas’ arms encircled Dean carefully and awkwardly, sending thrills running down Dean’s spine.

“Don’t ever change,” he said, his voice muffled by Cas’ trench coat. They stood there for a few moments longer, Dean hugging Cas tighter than he’d hugged someone since the last time Sam died. Cas stiffly held him back, until he cleared his throat and pulled away with a manly clap to Cas’ shoulder.

“How did Zachariah find you?” Cas asked when Dean didn’t say anything. Dean rolled his eyes.

“Long story,” he replied. “Let’s just stay away from Jehovah’s Witnesses from now on, okay?”

Cas looked so adorably confused that Dean couldn’t help but grin, ignoring the tingling deep in his gut. To distract himself, he pulled out his phone.

“What are you doing?” Cas said. Dean pressed into Sam’s contact details and then pushed dial.

“Something I should’ve done in the first place.”

To his relief, Sam agreed to meet up – with much more enthusiasm than Dean had been expecting and yeah, he felt kinda awesome that Sam still really wanted them to re-join forces – and when he hung up, he saw that Cas was starting to straighten up into his ‘take-off’ stance that Dean had grown very familiar with.

“Wait!” Dean blurted out. Cas froze, frowning at him.

“What’s wrong, Dean? I have to go and look for my Father.”

“I – well – it’s not the end of the world, is it?” Dean said lamely. “I mean, not yet it’s not. Early days. And you’ve just been constantly at it, right?”

“I have to find God,” Cas said firmly. “It’s the only way we can stop the Apocalypse with minimal loss of life and planet.”

“Yeah but you’ll burn yourself out.” Dean was talking quickly, his words falling over themselves in their rush to get out, but he didn’t want Cas to just fly off again. God knew how it happened but he was kinda maybe in love with the dorky guy (not that he’d ever actually say that), and after seeing the broken mess that had been 2014 stoner Cas, he didn’t want _his_ Cas to just flap off again. He selfishly wanted to just keep Cas all to himself but he knew that wouldn’t happen, so if he could just get Cas to stay with him for a little while longer, that’d be a victory in his book.

“Don’t worry, Dean. I may be losing my grace but I’m not useless quite yet.” Cas’ mouth curved into a twisted smile that actually caused Dean physical pain in the form of a dull stomach ache.

“Cas, I don’t give a fuck if you’re as powerful as freaking Michael himself or as weak as a baby!” he snapped. “I still need you because you’re one of the only people I can actually freaking trust! And y’know, maybe I wanna hang out with my friend! Especially after –”

He clamped his mouth shut before he could say too much; no way in hell was he telling Cas about that drug-fucked, sex-addicted version of him. But Cas had never respected personal boundaries anyway.

“After what? Tell me, Dean.”

Dean tried to hold out – he really did – but he lasted for all of two minutes before telling the angel everything. By the end of his apocalyptic tale, Cas was frowning.

“That may not necessarily happen,” he said. “Dean, the future is not set in stone. It’s impossible to predict what will definitely happen; even prophets can be thwarted, as I’m sure you know. The future that Zachariah sent you to may never even come to pass.”

“Not the point, Cas,” Dean said with a dark laugh. “I was a such an asshole that I threw away everyone’s lives. Even yours! Cas, I’d _never_ fucking sacrifice you like that! You – you mean too much to me!”

He was tempted to mention his suspicion that asshole Dean and stoner Cas were together – if they could be called ‘together’, what with their fucked-up lives – but he kept that titbit to himself. Sure, he’d admitted to himself that he maybe liked Cas in a more-than-best-friends kind of way, but there was no way he was gonna actually say that to anyone else. Especially not to the person he wanted to get down with. Would Cas even want to have sex? Or was he just a pure little angel? Dean nearly snorted at the ‘pure’ bit. No way was Cas some pure saint; not after rebelling and freaking dying for Dean.

He was brought back to reality by the sight of Cas smiling. And not some tiny lip twitch like he usually did; no, this was a full-on smile, complete with teeth. Dean’s entire body was probably going to float away at any second.

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas said. “That means a lot. Rebelling for you…it lifts my spirits to know that I have your approval and that you consider me a trusted friend. You know that my search for God is my first true act of free will? I can’t count my rebellion against Heaven as free will because I’m doing it for you, not myself.”

Dean swallowed. That was some heavy shit, man. He wasn’t sure if he was equipped to cope with the fact that Cas had thrown everything away for him, so he just gave a little awkward smile. “Right. Thanks, man. And just so you know, I don’t need you for your power or your mojo or whatever.”

“Why do you need me, then?” Cas tilted his head, squinting. “What could I possibly offer you besides my grace?”

Dean rolled his eyes to high heaven. “I just told you I didn’t care whether you were jumped-up or not. Do you really think I only want you around for your mojo?”

“I could just be of more use if I do have my grace,” Cas said with an awkward little shrug. “I know you were all deeply disappointed when I could not heal Bobby.”

Dean closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Stress, okay?” he said. “Everyone was going nuts because Bobby was stuck in a wheelchair, so we took it out on you. That wasn’t right, Cas. I want you around, grace or no grace.” He revelled in the smile on Cas’ face because he was the only one who could get Cas to smile like that. He was freaking special!

“Thank you, Dean. I appreciate that. But I still don’t understand why you enjoy my company.”

Dean raised his eyebrows. “Three words: den of iniquity. I told you, I haven’t laughed that hard in years.”

The widening smile from Cas was the best reward Dean had gotten in a long time.

“I’m glad I made you laugh,” Cas said. “Truth be told, though, I was relieved when Chastity rejected me. That den of iniquity rather unsettled me.”

“Well, what do you expect from a virgin in a brothel?” Dean said. “Everyone’s like that, man. I was probably like that. I don’t actually remember my first time in one of those places.”

“You misunderstand me,” Cas said. “It was the prospect of being intimate with a woman for profit that unsettled me. I may be ‘oblivious’ to social norms –”

God, those air quotes were absolutely adorable. If it wouldn’t make Cas fly away, Dean would’ve pinned him to the bed and kissed the everlasting daylights out of him.

“– but I feel that sexual intercourse is not something that should be exploited for profit. It should be performed for fun.”

“Dude, I can’t remember the last time I slept with a woman I actually had feelings for.”

Cas sighed. “Yes, but you and those women came to an agreement to engage in intercourse for mutual pleasure. There was no exchange of currency involved.”

“Hey, I get it,” Dean said. “Sex is pure and holy and the highest expression of love for you fluffy-winged cloud-seeders. But for most sex workers, it’s a job, just like corporate douches do their corporate shit. It pays the bills. I gotta say, it’s more fun than corporate shit, that’s for sure.”

Cas still looked unsure, so Dean reached out and patted him on the shoulder, ignoring the delicious thrill of electricity that zinged from where they touched.

“Cas, look,” he said. “Yeah, there are loads of people forced into this shit, and that’s horrible. But for people like Chastity? It’s a choice. They choose to do the dirty for money.”

“Free will,” Cas murmured.

“Yep!” Dean said with a grin. “Doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy it.”

“I still don’t like the idea,” Cas said.

“Hey, that’s cool too. Chastity can choose to do it for money and you can choose not to like that. Joys of free will, buddy.”

Cas looked down at the floor. Frowning, Dean shuffled closer and nudged the angel.

“What’s up?” he said. “Did I say something wrong?”

Heaving such a huge sigh that his shoulders slumped, Cas just shrugged. “No. Nothing is the matter.”

“Cas –”

“It is not of import.”

“Bullshit,” Dean growled. “I didn’t just last three days in an apocalyptic future where you were a junkie for you to shut yourself off.” He paused and frowned. “Actually, I think future you and future me were fucking. Future you was pretty flirty.”

“What?” Cas said. Dean froze. Shit. Of course he’d gone and put his foot in his mouth and said something he’d sworn _not_ to say. That’d teach him to control that damn brain-mouth filter and actually think about what he was saying before embarrassing himself in front of holy angels.

“What?” Dean parroted.

“Does that bother you?” Cas said. “The thought of you and me…fucking?”

Dean shouldn’t have been hard just from the sound of that word in Cas’ low, gravelly voice but by god, his dick was up and at it like Cas’ voice was some sort of magnetic force.

“No,” he said in a rush. “I, uh – oh, fuck me.”

Cas frowned, studying Dean for a moment. “I could do that if that’s what you wish,” he said.

“ _What_?”

“It isn’t as though I don’t possess feelings for you,” Cas said, totally oblivious to how Dean.exe was shutting down right next to him. “It may have taken me a while to discover how I felt but I can’t deny it. So, if you really would like me to –”

“Cas!” Dean nearly shouted. Cas fell silent, staring down at his hands neatly folded in his lap. Dean ran a shaky hand through his hair. This couldn’t be happening. There was no way he was being propositioned by an _angel_ , especially the angel he _wanted_ to get down and dirty with. “I – why?”

“Why what?”

“Why me? You can have anyone –”

“And I choose you.” Cas looked up. Dean swallowed at the blazing fire in those blue eyes. “I don’t want just anyone. If I am to ‘not die a virgin’, I would only consider giving myself to somebody I care about. You are the only person I could see giving myself to.”

“Don’t you care about Sam?” Why the hell was Dean fighting this so hard? The guy he was head over heels for was literally offering to fuck him and here he was, trying to push it away. If his crushing lack of self-esteem could just back the fuck off for a few minutes, that would be great.

“I do,” Cas said. “But not in the way I care about you. The thought of having intercourse with Sam…unsettles me nearly as much as the thought of having it with Chastity.”

“Wow,” Dean said. “Of all the humans to fall for, you fell for the fucked-up one who’s probably gonna get you killed. Smart move, buddy.”

“Shut up, Dean,” Cas said shortly. Dean had been expecting some sort of profound remark from Cas about free will or how he couldn’t help his feelings, so he was struck dumb for a few moments before bursting into laughter. Cas just sat there next to him, eyeing him with what was most likely a ‘what the fuck is wrong with you’ look.

“Oh god, you’re perfect,” Dean chortled, wiping his eyes. “I haven’t laughed this much in forever.”

“You said that outside the brothel,” Cas said.

“And it’s true.” Dean straightened up, the last of his laughter racking his body. “Christ, even Sam can’t make me laugh like that.”

“I don’t understand what I did.”

“You’re just…” Dean waved a hand vaguely at Cas. “You.”

Cas opened his mouth to reply but, overcome by a confusing mixed wave of emotions, Dean couldn’t stop himself from leaning over and pressing his mouth firmly to Cas’. Cas made a small sound of surprise but quickly recovered and tried to kiss back.

“Okay, you suck at this,” Dean said when he pulled away. Cas levelled him with a bitchface so perfect that he must’ve been taking lessons from Sam.

“My apologies,” Cas said acidly. “I happen to be an ‘inexperienced virgin’, so forgive me if my kissing skills are not up to your standard. If you like, I can go elsewhere and rectify this problem.”

Having Cas say outright that he wanted Dean to take his virginity sent a hot rush straight through Dean’s body, pooling in his groin. With a growl, he pulled Cas off the bed and yanked at his tie, racing against the descending haze of lust to get Cas undressed before he just gave up and dry humped the guy.

“Oh, fuck this,” Dean snarled when the tie, suit jacket, and trench coat had been removed and his fingers scrabbled over Cas’ shirt buttons. He grabbed Cas’ shirt and literally ripped it off, the buttons scattering all over the floor and the white material falling to cover them.

“It would be nice to keep my clothing intact, what with my dwindling grace,” Cas said.

“I’ll buy you more clothes,” Dean said, quickly shrugging off his own shirts. “I’ll get you all the shirts you want.”

“But I like that shirt,” Cas said sullenly.

“Fuck that shirt.”

“I’d rather you fuck me.”

Dean’s fingers slipped over the button of Cas’ slacks, catching on the zipper painfully.

“You sure you’re a virgin?” he said as he finally got Cas’ pants undone and pulled them and his plain white boxers down to his knees. Cas sat down on the bed to kick off his shoes, pants, and boxers. Holy shit, was that his cock? Dean was actually reaching out to touch Cas’ cock before he reined himself in. First things first, he needed to get fully naked too.

“Chastity said that she wanted me to ‘fuck her’.” Cas used the air quotes yet again. “I skimmed the surface of her mind for several things I could say during intercourse to make the experience better for her.”

“Thought you didn’t want to fuck her,” Dean said. He finally managed to get his damn boots off, followed by his jeans and boxer briefs. Jesus Christ, he’d have thought his body was literally on fire if he didn’t know better because he was so hot for Cas that he might as well have been ablaze. He’d never been this horny for anyone since Cassie Robinson all those years ago.

“Just because I didn’t particularly want to have sex with her doesn’t mean that I was going to make her experience unpleasant,” Cas said. His eyes were fixed on Dean’s cock, following it as it bobbed with Dean’s every movement, and his piercing gaze sent another wave of heat through Dean. Dean’s cock was so hard by this point that it could’ve cut glass. “Along with seeing her father’s departure in her mind, I also caught a glimpse of several less than pleasant lovers she had had in the past. I wanted her to feel valued as a person, not as an object for sexual pleasure.”

Fuck, Cas was too damn perfect. With a growl, Dean shoved Cas back so that the angel toppled onto the bed. Cas scrambled up to the top of the bed, while Dean followed at a slower, more predatory crawl. Judging by the way Cas’ pupils fully dilated and drowned out any hint of blue that might have remained, the angel seemed to have a thing for being the helpless prey for once.

“Well, aren’t you a gentleman?” Dean drawled. There was a brief moment where he and Cas just stared at each other, almost daring the other to make the first move, and he wasn’t totally sure who gave in but they were suddenly kissing furiously, growling into each other’s mouths like animals. He’d fantasised about rough sex with Cas, sure, but he’d always thought that the reality would be slower and sweeter as he showered Cas’ body with affection and kisses.

“I had no idea you were so romantic, Dean,” Cas said. Dean nipped his lower lip hard, wrenching a gasp out of him.

“Stay outta my head, angel,” Dean said, mildly surprised by how low and husky his voice had gone. Goddamn, he should’ve been a porn star.

“No.” Cas cupped Dean’s face and kissed him hard. “You should not have been a porn star. I want you for myself.”

“Oh?” Dean said, trying not to grin like a total idiot and ruin the mood. “Is that so? You want this all for yourself?”

He reached down to stroke his cock slowly. Cas bit his lip as his eyes followed Dean’s every movement.

“Yes.” In a blur of movement, Dean found himself on his back with a horny angel straddling his hips. Cas’ cock was blood red and leaking precome and it took everything Dean had not to reach out and start jerking him off. “The closer I fall to humanity, the more confusing this – my feelings – everything – I find it so hard to make sense of it all. But the one thing I know for sure is that I feel strongly for you, Dean.”

Dean inhaled sharply when Cas started to grind his hips slowly, their cocks sliding together and the sweet friction sending sparks jolting through Dean’s abdomen.

“I want to be close to you,” Cas continued, still slowly grinding. Dean’s hands flew out and gripped the angel around the hips to avoid stroking their cocks because if he did that, it would be game over. “I want to be in your company as often as I can. I want to make you laugh and see that smile on your face and know that I am responsible for it. I want to be allowed to touch you whenever I can. I want to kiss you, and bring you pleasure, and…I just _want_. And not even Heaven could strip that want from me.”

A particularly hard grind made Dean groan. In a split second, he’d reversed their positions and was looming over Cas again, whose dark hair spilled on the pillow around his head like the most gorgeous halo. With his lust-blown eyes and plump pink lips, Cas looked more like an angel than he’d ever looked before, and Dean’s chest swelled with an emotion that he very firmly did _not_ want to name.

“You sweet-talker,” he said, trying to sound suave and confident but failing miserably when Cas reached out and started to map out his chest. The angel’s fingers on his bare skin were like live wires, leaving burning hot trails of electricity down his chest as Cas ran his hands over the tan skin. Dean groaned and shuddered when Cas’ hands brushed over his dusky nipples, which hardened under his touch.

“You like this,” Cas said, squinting up at Dean. He thumbed Dean’s nipples again and Dean let out another groan and dug his fingers into Cas’ shoulders, unintentionally thrusting against Cas. Cas let out a hiss, his hands stumbling over Dean’s slightly-pudgy-but-definitely-still-handsome belly.

“What d’you want, Cas?” Dean said breathlessly, slowly rutting against Cas’ glorious left hipbone. Cas tipped his head back, eyelids fluttering.

“I – I want –” He moaned and grabbed Dean’s thighs, holding on for dear life, and Dean reluctantly stopped grinding so that he could get a straight answer out of the angel. Cas whined at the sudden loss of sensation.

“C’mon, use your words,” Dean said. He shifted his weight back when Cas tried to thrust up and reclaim the friction, and Cas shot him a dirty look when his straining cock was met with thin air.

“Don’t patronise me, Dean,” he snarled.

“I’m not patronising you, silly. You gotta use your words. Didn’t pick that up from Chastity’s mind, did you?”

Cas gave him the filthiest look he’d ever been subjected to, and that was including all of Sam’s bitchfaces.

“Alright,” Dean said. “Guess I’m just gonna –”

“You stay right there, Dean Winchester.” Cas grabbed Dean by the arms and pulled so that Dean fell on top of him. Dean only had enough time to think that shit, Cas was getting his smitey angel on, before Cas crushed their lips together and Dean suddenly couldn’t even remember which way was left and which was right. It was utter bliss, working his mouth against Cas’, and it jumped to mind-blowing heights when he swiped his tongue across the seam of Cas’ lips and plunged it in when Cas parted them in surprise.

“You doin’ alright?” Dean gasped when he pulled back for air. Cas just gaped like a fish for a moment and the sight was so comical that Dean had to fight the urge to laugh and totally shatter the mood.

“I think I’m in heaven,” Cas said dazedly. Dean buried his snort in the crook of Cas’ neck.

“Oh, this is nothing,” he said. “What do you want, angel? I gotta know how far you wanna go.”

“Angel.” Cas still sounded dazed. “I like that. It makes me feel powerful and important when I’m not.”

“Says who?” Dean says. “You’re powerful and important to me and what I say matters more than what those douchebags say. That’s the price you pay for bein’ with me.”

“That’s the easiest price I’ve ever paid,” Cas said.

“Though I dunno why you’d pick me and –”

“Dean, if you start to belittle yourself, I will throw you off this bed.”

Dean snorted again. “Cas, what do you want? I can jerk you off.” He reached down to grasp Cas’ cock. Cas groaned and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “I can blow you.” He licked his lips, Cas’ eyes following the movement with laser focus. “Whatever you want. You just gotta tell me how far you want to go.”

“What if I want to go…all the way?” Cas said with a frown. Dean swallowed heavily. Half of him was screaming about just how gay this all was…but the other half of him really, _really_ wanted to fuck the shit out of Cas. “Dean, I hardly think that this makes you…gay. If anything, you would be bisexual. In any case, I am technically genderless, so I’m not a man if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“What about you?” Dean said, refusing to admit what a load off it was that Cas just knew what was bothering him without words. One of the biggest reasons he liked Cas was because they had a – a _bond_ that he didn’t have with anyone else, not even Sam. He winced. Okay, that was enough of thinking about his brother while in bed with an angel of the Lord.

“I am utterly indifferent to sexual orientation. I suppose the only obstacle I would face is my need to have a bond with my partner before feeling this…want.” Cas frowned down at their leaking cocks. “Could you – I’d like you inside me, Dean. I don’t possess the same genitalia as Chastity but –”

Dean shivered as a hot wave of desire rolled through him. He leaned down next to Cas’ head, his breath caressing Cas’ ear, and whispered, “You want me to fuck you, Cas? Want me to fill you up and fuck you nice and hard?”

He pulled back just in time to see the animalistic gleam in Cas’ eyes before Cas was yanking him into a rough, messy kiss. They were far from elegant, with teeth clacking against each other and tongues wrestling for dominance, but it was the hottest thing that Dean had ever done in his life and he literally couldn’t wait to be inside Cas. Fuck, that meant he needed lube and condoms, which were all the way on the other side of the room.

“Where are you going?” Cas snapped when Dean reluctantly slid off him.

“We need stuff if I’m gonna fuck you.” Dean bent down to rummage through his duffle, deliberately giving Cas a very clear show, and the look of pure hunger on Cas’ face when he turned back around made butterflies explode in his stomach. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked at him with that much desire. Truth be told, it was kind of nice to be wanted like this, especially because Cas wanted more than just a nice, quick fuck before leaving with a quick ‘thanks for the lay’.

“What stuff?” Cas said impatiently.

“Lube, for one.” Dean held up the purple bottle of Astroglide. “You can’t just go shoving dicks into holes that small. Chicks make their own natural lube, but we don’t really have pussies, do we?” He also fished out the half-empty box of condoms. “We need these?”

Cas did the head-tilt-and-squint thing. “What are they?”

“Condoms. Stop you from making a baby when you’re with a chick. Y’know, since a life of shitty motel rooms and constantly dying isn’t the best place for a kid to grow up.”

“There is absolutely no possible way you could get me pregnant in this vessel.”

“They also stop you from getting diseases and shit.”

“You are free of all sexually transmitted diseases and I can’t catch or transmit any.”

“And they stop me from making a mess inside you.”

“What if I want a mess inside me?”

Dean shivered and reached down to stroke his aching cock as arousal thrummed through him, but then stopped before he could work himself up any more. As soon as he’d returned to Cas with the bottle of lube, the angel grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him down into another sloppy kiss, tangling his fingers in Dean’s hair.

“Cas – Cas, stop,” Dean panted when Cas started to rut against him. “Don’t want you to come before I’m in you.”

Cas whined but obeyed, his body going still. Dean rewarded him with a quick kiss.

“You want me to build up to it?” Dean said. “Jerk you, blow you, anything?”

“I would prefer you to have been inside me five minutes ago, but I suppose now will have to do,” Cas muttered. Dean grinned widely and kissed Cas again.

“Sassy shit,” he said. “Alright, hold your horses.”

“I have no horses to hold. And quite frankly, I’m in no mood to procure some, nor do I think they would fit in this room.”

Dean burst out laughing.

“What did I do?” Cas said in bewilderment as Dean peppered his face with kisses, still laughing. Dean finished with a deep kiss on the lips.

“You’re just…you, Cas. That’s all you need to do. Don’t ever change on me.”

He opened Cas up nice and slow, letting the angel adjust to the feeling of Dean’s fingers inside him. Dean had fingered himself once or twice when he was having a particularly drunk and curious night here and there, so he was no stranger to the feeling, but it was the first time Cas had ever had something inside him like this. Hell, this was the first time Cas had experienced sexual contact, and Dean was determined to make sure that it was the best one ever.

“Oh –!” Cas let out a choked gasp when Dean crooked his fingers and brushed them against a small bump inside him. Dean grinned when Cas thrust his hips down frantically, trying desperately to rub Dean’s fingers against that spot again. “Dean!”

“Huh, the internet was right,” Dean commented idly, continuing to open Cas up and hitting his prostate every so often. By the time Cas was stretched enough, the angel was gasping and gripping the sheets underneath him so hard that Dean was surprised they hadn’t ripped yet. “C’mon, angel, hips up.”

Eyes glazed over, Cas obediently lifted his hips so that Dean could slide a pillow underneath. Dean crawled on top of him, positioning his cock at Cas’ entrance, and leaned down to kiss Cas.

“Ready?” he said. Looking totally out of it, Cas nodded and wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist. Dean hadn’t even pushed in an inch before cursing at the tight, velvety heat that enveloped the head of his cock. “Oh – fuck!”

Cas just let out a long moan in response, eyes fluttering shut. Dean tried to push in slowly and let Cas adjust – he really did – but halfway in, Cas growled and used his strong, toned legs to literally force Dean all the way inside him in a second.

“Fuck me,” Cas said, sounding totally wrecked, while Dean tried to fend off the heart attack that he was two seconds from having at the way Cas had just manhandled him despite bottoming. Holy shit, he’d forgotten that Cas was strong enough to tear him in two without even breaking a sweat. Images flashed through his mind of Cas holding him to the bed and fucking the living daylights out of him, and he had to quickly shut his eyes and grip the bedsheets tightly to avoid coming before he even got the chance to move.

“Alright,” he said through gritted teeth. His hips moved in and out of Cas slowly, getting the angel used to the feeling of having a cock inside him, but Cas just growled and opened his eyes to glare at Dean.

“Do I have to take control?” he said. “Fuck me, Dean!”

Dean slipped at Cas’ words and slammed into Cas. Cas let out a breathy laugh, quelling any concern Dean might have had of hurting him. Well, he was a literal angel, so of course one puny human wouldn’t be enough to hurt him, even if the cock of said human was in his ass.

“Jesus Christ,” was all Dean could force out before he pulled out so that only the head of his cock was still inside Cas, then shoved back in so hard that Cas actually slid up the bed.

“Oh my – yes, that’s it!” Cas nearly shouted. Dean set a fast, brutal pace, ramming into Cas and fucking the angel so hard that the headboard of the bed began to thump against the wall rhythmically. If Dean had any semblance of higher brain power, he might have worried about disturbing the neighbours (in more ways than one), but any rational thought had quickly leaked out of his ear as soon as he started fucking the hell out of Cas. He was so lost in Cas’ tight heat that he didn’t see the tears trickling down Cas’ cheeks until his vision refocused.

“Shit!” Dean stopped moving immediately. Cas let out a frustrated whine.

“Why did you stop moving?” he demanded. “It feels so good!”

“You’re crying,” Dean said, reaching out to brush a tear away with his thumb. Cas frowned and touched his cheeks, then stared down at the moisture like it was one of Sam’s logic puzzles.

“So I am,” Cas said. Dean cupped one of Cas’ cheeks.

“Am I hurting you?” he said.

“No.” Cas shifted his hips and Dean bit his lip at the spark in his dick. “It feels so _good_. I didn’t know anything could feel like this. I think I’m just…”

“Overwhelmed?” Dean suggested. Cas nodded. “I can slow down if you want.”

“No,” Cas said immediately. He looked Dean dead in the eye and Dean swallowed at the pitch-black lust that had overtaken the angel’s blue irises. “I want you to fuck me as hard as you can, Dean.”

“But Cas –”

“It’s a good kind of overwhelming. Not bad. Please, Dean.”

Dean let out an explosive breath. “You tell me if you want to stop at any time, you hear me?” he said. “Whether it hurts, or you just want to stop, or whatever.”

When Cas nodded, Dean kissed him and then began to move again. He started off easy for two or three thrusts, then switched to the wall-banging pace he’d been using just before. Cas cried out, arching his back and squeezing Dean’s waist with his legs, and his arms flew up to wrap around Dean’s neck. Dean grunted when Cas’ fingernails dug into his shoulder blades painfully enough to enhance the pleasure currently pooling in his abdomen but not enough to be uncomfortable.

“That’s it,” Dean murmured when Cas cried out again, tears streaming down his face. He smiled and ran a hand through Cas’ dark, messy hair, pressing a desperate kiss to the angel’s forehead as he thrust even harder. The headboard chipped a little of the ugly off-white paint off the wall next time they collided. “That’s it, angel.”

Cas whined so loudly that the light overhead flickered. “Please,” he pleaded, cheeks glistening as he dug his nails in even harder and tightened his legs around Dean’s waist. “Please – more, Dean, please –”

“Good?”

“Yes – oh, right there – _yes_ , I haven’t – oh my – never felt this _good_ –”

Well, Dean was keeping his promise. Cas wasn’t going to die a virgin. And judging by the way the angel of the Lord was thrashing and crying, Dean was doing a damn good job of taking it. A small part of his brain hoped that Cas would want to stay with him and do this again – and maybe even more, like cheesy couple stuff – before the heat in his gut overflowed and surged through his body, wiping out any more thoughts he might have had. He came with a groaned, “Cas!” and buried his face in the crook of Cas’ neck, biting down hard and spilling inside Cas.

“Dean,” Cas moaned, hips twitching as Dean filled him. Dean was about to let himself just collapse on top of Cas but dimly realised that Cas hadn’t come yet, so he dragged a leaden hand down and wrapped it around Cas’ throbbing cock. It only took a few strokes before Cas was coming all over Dean’s hand and his own belly, back arched so much that he was nearly folded in half. The image of Cas with his eyes squeezed shut and his beautiful pink lips fallen open would forever be seared into Dean’s brain, and he used the last of his energy to roll off Cas and collapse onto the bed next to him instead. For a few minutes, the only sound that filled the room was that of panting.

“That was the best sex I have ever had,” Cas finally said breathlessly.

“That was the only sex you’ve ever had,” Dean said. Cas rolled his eyes.

“I’m well aware.” They lay next to each other for a few more moments before Cas bit his lip and said, “Dean?”

“Yeah? If you want round two, you’re gonna have to wait. My dick needs a break.”

“Much as I would love to have sex with you again, I was actually going to ask…could you hold me?”

The nervous look on Cas’ face made Dean grin widely and open his arms. “Course you can, angel. You don’t have to ask.”

Cas immediately wriggled over and snuggled into Dean’s side, shivering when Dean wrapped an arm around him. He made a soft purring sound when Dean began to stroke his hair with the other hand.

“This is nice,” Cas said. “I enjoy this intimacy.”

“Intimacy,” Dean snorted, though he couldn’t help but think back to the other times he’d had sex. Most of his encounters were random bar hook-ups and there was never cuddling with them; no, there was a certain physical distance to be maintained when having casual sex. The only two people he’d ever cuddled afterwards were Cassie and Lisa but…cuddling them hadn’t felt anywhere near as comfortable and right as this.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas said. “I’m honoured to be one of the few people that you cuddle.”

“Quit readin’ my mind,” Dean complained, swatting Cas on the ass with the arm around him. Cas jerked and shot Dean a reproachful look. “You’re making this weird.”

“Weird?” Cas said. “I was under the impression that this was more than meaningless sex and that you…care for me.”

Dean softened at that. Freaking post-sex hormones. “I do,” he said, kissing Cas on the top of the head. “I’m just an asshole with an allergy to emotions.”

“Dean, there’s no way you could possibly be allergic to emotions. Emotions are not a physical substance that your body can –”

He was cut off by Dean pressing their lips together. After letting out an indignant squeak, Cas sighed and melted into the kiss, nuzzling into the crook of Dean’s neck when they broke apart.

“Seriously? Already?” Dean said a few minutes later when something pressed against his thigh. He raised his eyebrow at Cas, who had the grace to smile sheepishly.

“I can control every bodily function,” Cas said. “Except for…this.” He waved a hand down at his hardening dick. Dean heaved an exaggerated sigh.

“I suppose I’ll have to take care of that for you,” he said.

“You don’t –”

“Lie back, Cas.” Dean pushed Cas onto his back and rolled on top of him, grinning down at the angel with a serious case of sex hair. He studied Cas for a few moments, drinking in the guy’s flushed cheeks and bright blue eyes and messy dark hair, before bending down and capturing Cas’ lips in a soft kiss. Cas hummed and eagerly kissed him back, lifting a hand to cup Dean’s cheek.

“I love it when you kiss me,” Cas rasped after Dean pulled back. “I can feel your affection for me in every kiss.”

Dean grinned and kissed Cas on the forehead, then kissed down his face and along the bolt of his jaw. Cas’ breath hitched when Dean nipped at his pulse point, then whined as Dean then sucked hard at the skin, teasing what was going to be a beautiful bruise out of it.

“You’re not allowed to heal these,” Dean said in between kissing down Cas’ throat. He sucked another hickey into the base of Cas’ throat, drinking in every gasp and soft moan that escaped the angel’s mouth. “Want everyone to see. You’re mine.”

“Y-Yes,” Cas stammered, melting into the bed. Pleased with his handiwork, Dean began the task of kissing every inch of Cas’ chest and abdomen, leaving hickeys and blossoming marks wherever he could. It was rather Neanderthal of him but hey, what else was he supposed to do? You couldn’t just present him with a gorgeous angel and not expect him to stake his claim.

“I – I appreciate the compliment,” Cas breathed. “Even if – this is not my body –”

Dean froze. “Shit.” He sat up slowly, looking Cas dead in the eye. “Cas…this isn’t your body. This is Jimmy’s.”

Cas frowned but his face cleared after a moment. “Jimmy is in Heaven, Dean,” he said, reaching out and taking Dean’s hand and clasping their fingers together. “When God remade me after Raphael’s smiting, he did not resurrect Jimmy. You don’t have to worry about accidentally violating him. I just…” Cas sighed and looked away. “This is not truly me. There’s not one part of my true form that you could observe without your eyes melting out of their sockets. All you can see is, well…a mask.”

“Hey.” Dean abandoned his perch on top of Cas and slid down on the bed next to him, wrapping the angel up in a tight hug. “Not gonna lie, this body’s pretty hot. But _you’re_ gorgeous, angel. _You’re_ the one who’s funny and dorky and badass and terrifying at times. Not your body. So, when I call you gorgeous, I’m talking about _you_.”

He prayed that Cas got the message. Cas must have because he relaxed and smiled and nuzzled into Dean’s chest.

“Thank you. That’s very reassuring. If it helps, I feel the exact same way about you. Your physical body is attractive but…your soul is what I’m truly drawn to. It’s bright.” Cas kissed Dean on the lips. “Alluring.” Another kiss. “Pure.” A third kiss. “The most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my entire existence.” He finished with a final kiss.

“Fuckin’ sap,” Dean grumbled, though he couldn’t ignore how his insides seemed to seize up and float away at Cas’ words. Why did Cas have to be so goddamn amazing?

“You flatter me, Dean.” Cas pressed a kiss to Dean’s chest.

“When are you gonna stay out of my mind?’

“I can’t help it. You think very loudly, especially when complimenting me or in the throes of pleasure.”

Dean snorted. If anyone else had said ‘throes of pleasure’ he would’ve decked them…but it sounded downright sexy in Cas’ gravelly voice. “Alright, alright,” he said. “Time to take care of this thing.”

As soon as he was back on top of Cas, he shuffled back a bit further and eyed up Cas’ dick. It was longer than his but slightly thinner, flushed red with blood and leaking a pearl of precome from the tip. This was way unfamiliar territory. Sure, Dean may have traded a few furtive wristies at the back of seedy bars and then pretended nothing had ever happened, but actually taking a dick into his mouth was totally new. He had to admit, he was a little intimidated, seeing it up close.

“Dean, you don’t have to –”

“Shut your cakehole.” After steeling himself, Dean leaned over and parted his lips around Cas’ cock. Cas bucked and groaned, accidentally driving his dick down Dean’s throat, and Dean gagged and pulled off.

“My apologies,” Cas said quickly. Dean just patted him on the hip, then slid up slightly so that he could hold Cas’ hips down as he took Cas into his mouth again. Though he’d never sucked a dick before, he had had his own dick sucked and so he tried his best to replicate what he liked best. He bobbed his head to take Cas in as far as he could, then pulled back and flicked his tongue across the slit and repeated the process. After only a few minutes, Cas was panting.

“Dean!” he choked out. “Dean, I’m – I’m going to –”

Dean had a split second to make his choice. Did he swallow or not? He made the impulsive decision to swallow – what was the worst that could happen? – and after one more lick and bob, Cas seized up and came right in Dean’s mouth. The fluid that gushed out of his cock was hot and salty and bitter, and it wasn’t to Dean’s taste but he still found himself eagerly gulping down every last drop purely because it was _Cas_.

“Well, if I can learn to suck dick and deepthroat, there’s nothing I can’t do,” Dean said hoarsely when he let Cas’ limp dick slide out of his mouth. Cas laughed at that.

“Come here,” he said. Dean was more than happy to crawl back up the bed and return to their original cuddling position with Cas in his arms.

“Ah, shit,” Dean groaned. “Sam’s gonna wonder why I’m so late.”

“I can resume my search for God if you would prefer,” Cas said hesitantly. “That would leave you free to go and meet Sam.”

“You’re leaving?” The cold hand of fear gripped Dean’s heart and squeezed. Of course Cas was going to leave him. Why the hell would anyone choose to tie themselves to him when they could be free and doing important things? And he was a selfish asshole, so of course he wanted to keep Cas all to himself. But it was unfair and unrealistic to expect that of the angel.

“Stop panicking,” Cas said firmly, leaning up to kiss Dean. “Nothing would bring me greater pleasure than to remain by your side. But I must find God to have the best chance of stopping the Apocalypse. And you…” He hesitated. “You don’t need me. Not when you’re going to reunite with your brother.”

“Now that’s the biggest load of shit I’ve ever heard,” Dean growled. “You think I don’t need you just ‘cause I have Sam? You sure you’ve been reading my mind?”

“I couldn’t help it –”

“I’m a selfish son of a bitch, Cas. I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay with me and never leave, even though you have your stuff to do. No, don’t you _dare_ assume that I don’t want you. Because…I do. A lot.” He groaned softly upon realising the sheer sappiness of his confession.

“I want you too,” Cas said softly, starting to trace shapes on Dean’s chest. “A lot. And I’ll always come whenever you call. I just…don’t want to make Sam unhappy if he learns that we are pursuing romantic and sexual affection from each other.”

“Screw him,” Dean said. He tried to ignore how his heart soared at Cas’ admission that he wanted more out of this than just sex. “Yeah, he’s my brother, but there’s no way he’ll have a problem with you, Cas. And if he does? He can learn to deal with it. I’m still pissed at him.”

“But he’s your brother.”

“Just ‘cause I’ll stand by him no matter what doesn’t mean I’m not pissed at him. He should’ve known better than to trust that demon bitch Ruby. But seriously, Cas, I don’t think Sam’ll have a problem with you. He…well, he knows how I swing.” Well, walking in on Dean getting a wristy in the bathroom once and giving a speech about how he was proud that his emotionally repressed brother was finally exploring his sexuality was close enough.

“I’d like to ride with you to meet Sam, if you don’t mind?” Cas said quietly. “I will resume my search when you meet up with Sam but…I’d like to enjoy the car ride with you. Especially in the wake of your…adventure”

“You kidding?” Dean said, running a hand through Cas’ hair. “Best offer I’ve gotten all day. Besides this, of course.”

Cas grinned up at him. For a moment, all Dean could see was 2014 Cas with his stoner grin, but then the image flickered away and was replaced with _his_ Cas. His Cas frowned.

“That will not happen,” Cas said firmly. “That future will not come to pass. And if it does, I know you will not mistreat me as your alternate self did. From the sound of it, they…were fucking out of desperation and loneliness. That isn’t us at all.”

“But you’re saying you’ll give up your powers and shit and stay in that end of the world crap?” Dean’s stomach leapt fearfully.

“I would follow you to Hell and back, Dean.” Cas kissed him gently on the lips. “I already have. And my powers will fade over time as my grace dwindles. Please don’t feel responsible for my choice. If you truly want to help, you can be there to help and comfort me. It will be…difficult. But I would go through anything for you, Dean. Why do you think I doubted and defied Heaven? I was conflicted between obedience and my emotions. You simply helped me choose.”

Dean sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “I still feel responsible, though. I dragged you down.”

“I chose to fall when you pulled. And I will always fall for you because I know you will always be there to catch me.”

Dean smiled and kissed Cas deeply. “Damn right I’ll be. Just so long as you’re there to put up with my shit, angel.”

“It’s a deal. You should sleep, Dean. Sam will understand.”

“Yeah.” Dean closed his eyes, holding Cas even closer to him. “Don’t ever change, Cas.”


End file.
